Friday, January 13, 2012

Friend Just Found Out She Has Cancer And She Wants Nothing To Do With Me?

396545116 I'm a guy and my friend who is a girl just found out she has stomach cancer. Suddenly she's telling me to stop texting her and how she doesn't want anything to do with me. We were best friends and now suddenly it just stopped. What should I do? We also live in different states too.
Posted by at
Labels:

3 comments:

  1. rebesJanuary 13, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    Trenton - You might just have to give her time to cool down it may have just hit her really hard and she is trying to do a million things at once. Trust me it should all work out for the best. Hope it works out for both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. rebesJanuary 13, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    SilverLynx - Best Friends...or internet friends?

    Because to be honest, if you've NEVER met her face to face, as much as you might have feelings for her, you're not a real person to her, and really, with all the sudden stress in her life, the annoying imaginary person who keeps pestering her with messages of "how are you doing? Are you feeling okay? Please feel better!" is the first person she's going to dump.

    Because she really just needs time to cope and deal, and your constant messages don't help.

    Internet relationships, even if they're just friendships can be very overwhelming because you aren't talking face to face, and you can't read the body language signals that tell you HUGE amounts of information. If you were standing right in front of her right now, you'd probably get a huge vibe that she doesn't mind you being there, but she really don't want to talk. And you'd probably be cool with that.

    When you can't see that, and you keep sending messages, it's like you're being socially awkward and almost intentionally rude. And it's much easier to go "This person isn't real. I need time to myself. I'm just going to tell him to get the hell out of my life because I do not want to deal with it anymore!" And then she dumps you.

    So what can you do? If you ACTUALLY know her IRL, stop in the visit her. Bring flowers. Don't say anything. Be quiet and reserved and RESPECT the place she's in, even if her response is to tell you to go away again. (in which case, you nod, you give her the flowers, and you LEAVE!) Patch it up later when she's in a better place.

    If you don't know her IRL, sorry about your luck, but it would be STUPIDLY inappropriate to show up on her doorstep. You've been dumped, you leave her alone now. She's got enough on her plate without a psycho internet stalker showing up to bother her when she's in this place. Next time you make a "best friend" make sure that it's IRL, and it's mutual.

    ReplyDelete
  3. rebesJanuary 13, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    Daniel - Give her time - and, you could let her know you are there if she needs something.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)