I'm fifteen-years-old, 5'4, 125 pounds, and my bmi is 21.5. My mother tells me constantly that I'm fat and how it kills her everyday to look at me. She's an emergency surgeon who weighs 85 pounds despite being nearly my height (she's not trying to be thin, it's partially genetics and the rest being her job), I exercise a lot and I think (or hope) a lot of my weight is muscle from doing classical ballet for 12 years. I walk or bicycle everywhere I go, despite living in San Francisco and while I'm not exactly an angel, I keep a balanced diet. If I could I would just ignore my mother's well intended bullying, but I do have a few friends who are genuinely overweight but are convinced that they're a perfectly normal size. I don't want to be another person in denial. Also, in dance class, I am one of the heavier dancers. I don't have a toothpick body type like many that are there, rather I have a more "womanly" frame. I'm not sure whether to consider myself normal, or heavy compared to them. At this point, I'm not even sure what to think of the entire situation. I showed my mom a few websites that specialize in teen's health to prove that I'm an okay weight, but she deemed those all as "bullsh*t" and how fat people are justifying their weight. She tells me that I've lost myself and gained so much weight. I did- twenty pounds- but that's only because I had anorexia for two years and finally recovered last year. She's been forcing me onto a diet and made me take up more dance classes. I'm starting to hate dance, and I really don't want to starve myself again. Who's right, and what should I do about it?Monday, December 5, 2011
My Mother Constantly Says I'm Fat And I'm Not Sure If She's Right?
I'm fifteen-years-old, 5'4, 125 pounds, and my bmi is 21.5. My mother tells me constantly that I'm fat and how it kills her everyday to look at me. She's an emergency surgeon who weighs 85 pounds despite being nearly my height (she's not trying to be thin, it's partially genetics and the rest being her job), I exercise a lot and I think (or hope) a lot of my weight is muscle from doing classical ballet for 12 years. I walk or bicycle everywhere I go, despite living in San Francisco and while I'm not exactly an angel, I keep a balanced diet. If I could I would just ignore my mother's well intended bullying, but I do have a few friends who are genuinely overweight but are convinced that they're a perfectly normal size. I don't want to be another person in denial. Also, in dance class, I am one of the heavier dancers. I don't have a toothpick body type like many that are there, rather I have a more "womanly" frame. I'm not sure whether to consider myself normal, or heavy compared to them. At this point, I'm not even sure what to think of the entire situation. I showed my mom a few websites that specialize in teen's health to prove that I'm an okay weight, but she deemed those all as "bullsh*t" and how fat people are justifying their weight. She tells me that I've lost myself and gained so much weight. I did- twenty pounds- but that's only because I had anorexia for two years and finally recovered last year. She's been forcing me onto a diet and made me take up more dance classes. I'm starting to hate dance, and I really don't want to starve myself again. Who's right, and what should I do about it?
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Kristen - You are so not fat!!! Honestly it sounds like your mom has an eating disorder that she is hiding from you and thus doesn't truly understand what a healthy weight for you (or her) really is. Stop listening to her. As long as you eat fairly well and continue getting exercise in the form of dance you should be fine. Good luck. Don't let others bring you down when it comes to your weight. Hope this helps :)
ReplyDeleteRandom Name - That a fine weight for your height and is in the "healthy weight range" for BMI.
ReplyDeleteNo idea what your mum is on about, she is classified as "severely underweight", sure she isn't anorexic?
Casey - Tell your mom so shut the front door because you arent fat! I'm 14 im 139 pounds height 5'2 now im a bit overweight but you are healthy and as long as you don't have your tummy like blaring from your clothes and your legs dont bludge outta your seats at school then your healthy weight!
ReplyDeleteRandom Name - Your own mother calls you fat? Call her a skinny little bitch that gets no exercise. If she really is that skinny then she obviously gets no exercise and just refuses to it. She has no energy and can't do shit. She isn't athletic. But you, you are athletic. You're the healthy weight, your mom isn't. In fact, just tell her to read my answer. She'll understand lol.
ReplyDeleteTyra - YOur not fat. Your perefect and it good that you are working out to maintain your weight. Just dont diet cause your good
ReplyDeleteRikkaDear - Everyone is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteForget her, and embrace your body, because you're gorgeous!
cola fresh - show your mother this. YOUR NOT FAT. your mom is terribly under weight. you are who you are and if shes your mom she should not feel that she cant stand looking at you weather your skinny obease ro what. you are who you are be happy with it dont listen, exercise, eat healthy lots of protein and fruit and veggies. but you sound fine so no worries :) its your mom that has her probelm not you. if shes a anoexic looking stick wich at that weight i garontee she is everyone else dosnt have to be.
ReplyDeleteZotero Zotero - OMG I thought my mom was crazy!! That's not "well intentioned bullying" thats damaging your self image and self esteem. I wouldn't expect that from someone who is a doctor!! This has nothing to do with whether you are fat or skinny and everything to do with the fact that your mother is making you feel bad about yourself... What a f*cking bi*ch...
ReplyDeleteRobert - 125 pounds is just right for 5'4".
ReplyDelete