I was put into a childrens home from age three and moved from one home to the next- i lived in 12 different places by the timevi was 18, i even spent a year with my grandma. I was constantly abused by staff members of the home from as young as five, my grandmothers son abused me and when i did move in with my mum ( whic was only for a year her boyfriend abused me , i was 11) she blamed me and then put me back in care again . I have struggeled with life, family and keeping the weight off and i read somewhere its starts when u can love yourself..... I dont think i have ever loved myself... I dont think i know how...How do u love yourself? Or maybe u dont, u just get on with it...
Many thanks
Gina
Please answer if u can, i lappreciate it so much.... Thanks
Looney Dufus - I love myself with my right hand.
ReplyDeleteMaha Ali - Love ur lover automaticaly u wil start loving yourself.whether the person loves u or not. .if u fel in love with that person. .so for that person u wil start taking care of urself. .nd with thz u wil no longer ingnore urself in such a pain ful nd hard life. .thz z how u can love ur self.
ReplyDeleteBonne Nuit - Ok the first thing you have to do is convince yourself that it's possible! Make yourself believe that you WILL get to wear you want to be. The next suggestion I have I know is said alot, but therapy. Talking about things truly helps more than you can imagine! For people like yourself who have been abused and pit down their entire lives, it's very hard to think that you are a wonderful person. But you what, you are! And you deserve as much happiness as anyone else! Start being selfish. Do everything that YOU want to do! Get to know yourself! Spend time alone to figure out what you love to do and what makes you happy. Right a list of all the things you want in life and tell yourself you deserve to get them! I have a big board in my room with pictures of things I want to achieve and everytime I look at it I feel motivated to try again :) you can be happy and love yourself and you will if you want it bad enough! Just remember the past does not control the future! Good luck and I wish you a wonderful and happy life.
ReplyDeleteIndigo - Whatever doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
ReplyDeletesee it like this: you have the privilege to see/ experience things others haven't and so you have a broader outlook on life and what you want. Dont focus on the details of the crap thats happened to you. Focuss on what you want to achieve with what youve gone through so you can do something great and tell those horrible people to suck on it;)
Roni - Sorry hun, that sounds rough. My boyfriend went through a life very similar to that, and he struggles deeply with it. Saying from a personal point of view, it is very difficult to truly love yourself. I will for a month or two, and then fall into a depression suddenly and stay there for an even longer amount of time. I love myself by realizing the great qualities in me, and truly feeling them. When I'm being courageious, I acknowledge it and give myself secret praise. I wake up in the morning and tell myself how beautiful i am and funny etc etc into the mirror until I really believe it. You'll believe it when you smile while saying it. Sounds extreme, but it has helped pull me out of some very dark areas in my life. I compliment myself on a daily basis, and when I think bad or sad thoughts I scold myself and remind myself how wrong I am.
ReplyDeleteBut feeling better mentally is only half of it. I know this sounds lame, but get 8 hours of sleep every night...even if it cuts into your social time. Eat right. Duh eat some candy and drink an energy drink once in a while. But stick with water and milk for the other times! Also, try to engage in activities that keep your heart beat up. Nothing takes away your libido or life energy than being lazy all the time. Go on a power walk every day, or play some basketball with friends.
I don't advise finding someone, a significant other, to help you love yourself. It will just end in disaster. If you end up finding someone, even in a bad time in your life...then invite them in and stay on track with getting yourself better. Just don't go searching for happiness in another person.
I say all these things because this is what I have personnaly experienced through years of extreme depression and trips to therapy. (Talking about problems really does give you clarity and makes you feel better.) Also, this is what I have seen with my friends who have been abused too. I say confront your past head on, and understand that those experiences make you...you. Even if that you is a self conscious person...you still deserve all the love in the world.
Hope this helped :)